Path to the Major Leagues Nearly Killed Me
Baseball nearly killed me. I had pitched 8 years professionally and spent time with a few teams in the MLB to date while being absorbed in baseball training. At the time I was under a lucrative contract in Japan, sidelined by an injury. It was the darkest moment of my life, though the injury had minimal to do with my state. I vividly remember looking over the eleventh floor balcony to the ground below, thinking the pain inside could go away in an instant if I wanted it to. Thoughts of how much I would cause others pain danced in my head if I made that decision. Fear paralyzed me. Pride in myself that I somehow had the strength to endure and not take the cowards way out fastened my feet to the ground. Or so I thought, confusion clouded everything.
Ever since I was a little kid I wanted to pitch in the Major Leagues. I told everyone I would. Most smiled and went along with that. Others openly rejected the dream. I knew I would. This became my life, baseball and the Major Leagues became my focus and only goal. I had the natural gifting, I worked harder than the rest, I pushed this to happen. My senior year in high school the dream started to show form of reality. Many top D1 universities approached, pro scouts at every game. The draft came and I was selected in the 17th round. That summer pitching on Junior National Team and being named team MVP with two complete game shutouts versus Cuba and the Netherlands. Things were rolling. I signed a full ride to University of Washington and spent one year there. Transferred to Central Arizona College achieved All American honors and was then drafted in the supplemental first round of the MLB draft. I was on the way.
I pitched extremely well through the minor leagues and in my second full season had my first taste of the Major Leagues. Over the next six years I would bounce between the minor leagues and Major Leagues. There was mixed success from my first win in Yankee Stadium against the reigning World Series champs to getting utterly beat up in Seattle with all my friends and family in attendance. I was absolutely humiliated. I lived and died with my performances.
Results on the mound were everything to me. So much so that earlier in my career after a poor Spring Training start I punched a steel door and broke my pitching hand. I remember going to the hospital, the x-ray revealing the break, the doctor casting me up. How shameful it was for me to walk in to the clubhouse that day. I was in Big League camp with the White Sox and retired superstar Bo Jackson would often frequent our facility. An athlete that I had idolized as a kid. Just so happened that he was sitting in the training room when I walked in with my cast. He stopped what he was doing, looked directly at me as asked me if I was the one that broke his hand punching a door. I replied yes and I will never forget the words he said to me, “You are the stupidest mother (expletive) I have ever seen” was how he started. And then proceeded to tear me up and down. It’s a funny story now and the tongue lashing was well deserved.
Baseball was my identity. Though I was never a superstar I was still a Major League pitcher. This was where I found my status and I was very proud of what I had accomplished. Fans wanted autographs, people wanted my attention, I had money, this was my childhood dream being fulfilled. Yet somehow this wasn’t enough. Baseball balked at satisfying my deepest desires and needs, it was not able to be my strength or provide fulfillment that lasted. All my worth was rooted in a game. A game that would end, a game that would pass me by for the next young arm. If you are looking also to improve on your pitching checkout our course for athletes.
I started this story saying baseball nearly killed me. Well it almost did when this game was not able to hold the weight of my hopes, carry me through my difficult times, give me peace, bring me true joy. Since my identity was a baseball player and baseball lacked the ability to offer me anything of lasting value in return I was set on course to meet directly with hopelessness. And this is what happened. A number personal things started falling apart around me, my window as a ball player was shutting quickly on me, everything I thought I was began to disintegrate from underneath me. Everything that I thought made me strong was broken, my foundation of who I was crumbled. My whole life I built around being a professional ball player and I was left with nothing but some stories.
I had lived my dream and feared the rest of my life be a disappointment because what was there that I could do that would compare? I mentioned that some personal things fell apart around me and these contributed to my despair. I was heartbroken and alone. I had nothing that could fill the emptiness that filled my heart and nothing strong enough to subdue the pain in my head. I drank constantly, couldn’t eat or sleep, and sought anything that could bring me a taste of happiness again. But found nothing.
Back to that night in Japan on that balcony. When everything was stripped away from me, the only things I knew to be true were that I was a living man, and that there was a God. The two absolutes that I knew to be true. You see, growing up I was raised in a church and was aware of this God who said He loved me and I believed that to be true. But other than that, I believed in myself and my ability to achieve anything I wanted. The good news is that despite my lack of need for God, this God knew my heart and could see the potential in me. He saw me as His child though I had minimal need for him.
So God, seeing my heart, in His love, decided it was time to tear down everything I had built, destroy my foundation I thought was strong, break me down to nothing. I fought this violently at first but was beating the wind. I weakened and tired to where I could fight no more. God finally had my attention, and His message was this; My child I can only let you go so far. You have built yourself on a futile foundation, you are not living, let go of all that you chase and desire and let Me shape your heart. Allow me to build you back in to the person I want you to be, the life I have for you will bring greater joy and peace then anything you could imagine. I will fill your heart with everything you desire. I need you to trust me. I need you to let go.
I did not know but my dream had actually begun then. This loving God began to heal my wounds. He started showing me true meaning and purpose. He replaced my pain with hope, my despair with anticipation, my fear with strength. My only part in this was to stop fighting, stop trying, and let go. That scary word surrender. This is tough for people with pride and strength in self. But when you know who you are surrendering to and can absolutely trust them then it not only makes sense but it brings security and hope. For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry he fills with good things, Psalm 107:9.
You may be thinking that you read this far and its all about religion. I assure you its not. This is about joy, this is about personal fulfillment, this is about living with a purpose, this is about relationship, this is about living a life that is abundant and full! In ALL things God works together for the GOOD of those who love him, Romans 8:28.
When I placed my trust in God he changed my life incredibly! He has used all of my past to shape my future and has brought me such love and joy that my heart is full and I no longer live in emptiness. I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly, John 10:10. There is no truer statement than this. The beauty is that this life abundant is freely available to you too!
I work with many youth and athletes now baseball coaching. I get to help them on their journeys with the knowledge and experiences I attained through my story. I get to be a part of their successes and failures. My life is a life of service now and there is no other place I would rather be. This was never possible in my own strength, I failed miserably. With God leading my life my heart is now full, I look forward to each day, I anticipate what God will do next because I know he is all loving and all for me!
I routinely tell people that I find more joy in seeing the success of others I have helped and served than my greatest experience as a player. Self seeking leads to a life unfulfilled. Serving others leads to fullness of heart and joy. Leadership and service go hand in hand. A leader that does not serve and put others before themselves is no leader at all. The greatest example of leadership and service in action was Jesus who willingly died on the cross for you and I. He took our place and paid the price for our sin. This is how the love of God is revealed to us: God has sent his only Son in to the world so that we can live through him. This is love: it is not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as the sacrifice that deals with our sins, 1 John 4:9-10. People say that they are good people and don’t need forgiveness, I say we are all sinners in need of forgiveness.
The good news is that Jesus paid the price for our sins despite what we think and offers us a clean slate and the promise of life abundant. He offers us a personal relationship with him. I spoke much on identity, the failures in misplaced alliances or false hopes, and the search for who I really was. I ask you now, what greater identity than being the child of a king? What better than being loved and cherished by the God who created the universe? What could top a life full of hope, peace, and joy while walking side by side with the Almighty who calls you his friend? I tell you nothing.
God saved my life from destruction and hopelessness and made me new, now its time for you to do the same. The bible says that if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9-10. That’s it. We believe that God sent his Son to die on the cross for our sins and that he rose again on the third day. We confess that we are a sinner and need God to forgive us. We ask God to live in our life and heart. And guess what, he will freely and joyously say yes. He cant wait to be in a relationship with you and pour out his love on you. This I promise you right now, you will not be disappointed. You will experience life you never thought imaginable.
The bible says to confess and believe and you are saved. Here is a little prayer you can follow to ask God to be in your life. This prayer has no significance other than you confessing with your mouth. So pray this from your heart and accept this free gift.
Dear God, I know that I am a sinner and need your forgiveness.
I believe that you sent your Son Jesus to die on the cross for my sin.
I believe that he rose again defeating sin and death for me so that I can life in freedom with you.
Forgive me of my sins, I ask you to come in to my life.
Teach me to follow you and love you.
I put you first in my life today.
In Jesus name, Amen
Guess what, if you prayed that prayer you have officially stepped in to a relationship with the God who loves you more than you can imagine. You will not regret this. This is the best choice you will ever make. If you prayed this prayer and made this choice I want to hear from you. Lets talk and look at the next steps for you in this amazing journey. Send me an email and lets connect aaron@sportzuniversity.com.
With God at the head of your life and the center of your baseball career you can have the greatest experience you can ever hope. He will work in ways you never imagine. I tell all my pitchers to throw at the knees. Well, keep living at the knees in baseball and on your knees before God. Life at the knees is where we find our strength!
